Reddit Put Children in Box Funny

My Pi Day joke

There was a village that had four competing pie shops, each inhabiting their own corner of the town. One of these shops was named "The Circle".

The Circle wanted to gain an edge on the other shops, they wanted to stand out. They realized they could transport more pies in their boxes if they made the pies square instead of circular, so they would stack better. The only place in the village to have these oddly-shaped pies is at The Circle.

So, for the area of The Circle, the pie are squared.

How many white people can you fit in a can?

Crackers don't come in cans, they come in boxes!

Four men are watching a juggler...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a man do some juggling on the street. The juggler notices that the men can't see very well, and stands on some boxes.
"Can you all see me now?" He calls
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."

Beer

This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of "Bud Light" cheap.

I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.

She glanced at the two boxes of beer, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, handsome. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?"

I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer 'ya got?"

5 boxes for a dollar...

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in the corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar."

Well, the woman just can't believe this price so she asks the clerk if it was correct.

He replies, "Oh yes, 5 for a dollar."

She says, "That can't be right!"

The clerk responds, "Oh yes, it's right!! 5 boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."

Job at a Cadbury's factory ..

>I had a job putting fudge bars in to boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say,

>"Oh packing fudge are we?"

>Or

>"Hey up, he's packing fudge again."

>Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts.

>I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.

TBH. I don't get the joke and it's annoying me. Can someone explain the obvious wordplay I'm missing??

You know you're an alcoholic when...

...your local liquor store is moving and they come to your house for boxes.

Waiting in line

A woman is checking out at the grocery store. She buys a dozen eggs, two boxes of pasta, waffles, a bag of onions, lunch meat, oatmeal, sparkling water and throws on a pack of gum at the register.

The man behind her says "you must be single"

"Why yes I am! Did you figure this out by noticing all the stuff I bought?"

"Nope, it's because you are ugly!"

Why doesn't Barbie get pregnant?

Because Ken comes in other boxes.

I wrote this little ditty just seconds after waking up.

An auto worker storms into his union leader's office. "I have a really pesky booger in my nostril, and management won't get us anymore tissue boxes!!" he shouts.

The union manager calmly responds: "Maybe you should picket."

Black people love boom boxes ..

I hate to generalize, but it's their stereotype ;-)

You can explore boxes chocolates reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean boxes unopened dad jokes. There are also boxes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My wife just emailed me asking if we had any moving boxes

I told her no... All of our boxes are still. That's why we purchased them from a stationary store.

I'm sexually attracted to metal boxes with locking systems.

But don't worry. It's safe sex.

Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck?

The DOWNS truck is a little slow.

The wife comes home......

The wife comes to home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, twho bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread.

Husband: Are we expecting guests today?

Wife : Nope..

Husband : Then why did you buy so much bread?

Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.

I love buying cardboard boxes online.

You always get one more than you pay for.

If two Homeless people are hitting each other with a cardboard boxes...

Is it a pillow fight?

You know what's weird?

I've never seen any femail boxes.

A zombie is at the butcher shop.

A zombie is at a butcher shop for the undead. He tells the butcher, "Give me 40 pounds of human brain and 60 human legs. And keep them in the boxes, they're going straight in my truck."

The butcher says, "Do you need a hand with that?"

The wife came home with four cases of beer,

*The wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, a litre of vodka, two litres of gin, two bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread*

*"Are we expecting guests?" He asked.*

*"No," she replied.*

*"Then why did you buy so much bread..!!

A lot of guys found Princess Leia attractive...

...but for me she ticks Alderaan boxes.

NSFW - What is the difference between a warehouse and a whorehouse?

One is stuffed with boxes, the other is where boxes get stuffed.

What do they have in common?

They both happily take your money so you can drop a load.

A woman sees a sale sign that says "Tampons: 3 boxes for $5"

Wanting to take advantage of the deal, she goes into the store. The sales attendant immediately comes up to her and asks if he can help her, she says, "Yes, I saw a sign outside that said you have a sale going for tampons, are they really just $5 for three whole boxes?

The sales attendant replies," Yes ma'am, they're three boxes for $5, and there are no strings attached."

My wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whiskey and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" I asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did you buy so much bread?"

Why aren't there any fat girls on the boxes of girl scout cookies?

Because good drug dealers don't use their own product.

[NSFW]Four robbers break into a bank at midnight.

As they open the vault, there are only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt.

"We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave.

The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."

If people went shopping like they do in RPG games, shop owners would be rich

"I'll take 99 boxes of Tylenol, 99 tetanus shots, 99 vials of clear eyes, and what's in that little box over there? screw it -I'll take 99 of them as well."

"Very good sir, may I ask what you will be using these for?"

"Who says I'm gonna use them?"

I was instructed to relocate all these boxes of letterhead. But I can't...

They're stationary.

Black people love boom boxes.

I guess it's just their stereo type..

What is the difference between a prostitute and EA?

Both have expensive loot boxes we have to pay for however it's prostitutes who end up with a bad taste in their mouths not their clients.

Medieval Minstrels were the first victims of EA's corporate greed

They could only access their instruments by opening Lute Boxes

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

An old woman falls asleep in church

The priest asks, "How many of you commit adultery? Those who do, stand up." Just then the old lady wakes up and asks her son-in-law, "What did he say?" The son-in-law wants to play a prank and answers "Those who take Tic Tacs have to stand up." The woman, who takes the pills by boxes, stands up. Everyone gasps, and the priest asks, "How could you, at your age?"

"Just because I've got no teeth doesn't mean I can't suck 'em!"

A nun was fired from her job in heaven...

A nun was fired from her job in heaven, so she came down to earth and started looking for a job. One night, when she is filling out a job application, there is a question that asks her to check the boxes next to the jobs that she has previously worked at. She looks at the answers for a second, and then checks the box marked, "Nun of the above."

I blew all of my money on leather jackets and juke boxes...

I'm worried that I may be caught in a Fonzey scheme.

On Halloween I give young kids little boxes of raisins.

I've been accused of statutory grape.

Christmas tip:

Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace

Black people sure love them some boom boxes.

I'm not racist,

That's just their stereotype.

An owner of a box manufacturer company goes to his son's school one day...

"Hey kids, I make boxes! Have any questions?"

One kid raised his hand...

"Yea, why does my dad keep talking about filling my mom's box, shouldn't he get his own?"

"Shut up son."

Tampons on sale

A woman goes into the drug store and notices a large stack of tampons in the corner with a sign above saying: "Special Offer, Five Boxes for $2.50"

She says to the assistant. What's the catch"?

The assistant replies "It's a genuine offer, five boxes for $2.50, no strings attached.

There's a guy sneaking around in grocery stores in my town dropping chunks of dry ice in boxes of cereal.

We're being attacked by a cereal chiller!

Woman goes to a doctor with a tampon lodged inside her...

Doctor: So how did this happen?

Woman: I don't know, I mean I didn't get them from the store as usual, I saw a special deal on eBay, a hundred boxes for $1!

Doctor: A hundred boxes for $1? Didn't that sound suspiciously cheap to you?

Woman: Well I thought that too, so I checked the entire listing and it said plain and clear

One hundred boxes of tampons for $1...

...no strings attached!

What does a gynecologist have in common with a census taker?

They both make their living checking boxes.

I recently started dating a girl in admin....

She's just great, she really ticks all the boxes

I just asked Siri for a wake up call...

She sent a photo of me, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and beer cans.

What do you call a group of cereal boxes that never keep their word?

Corn flakes

A Grandfather talks to his grandson

Grandpa: Back then, for a dollah, I could get rice, milk, sardines, eggs, four boxes of cereal, a bottle of coke, some chips, and a tub of ice cream

Grandson: How about now, Grandpa?

Grandpa: Now a days, it's impossible to do anything with all dem gawddam cameras around!

Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate.

He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he yelled "The Milky Bars are on me!", people just cheered.

Have you ever seen a wrestling match?

Of course you haven't, matches can't wrestle if they come in boxes

Why do restaurants put pizza in square boxes?

Because they don't cut corners.

A guy walking down the road ,comes across a farmer. This farmer has boxes upon upon boxes of peaches, in the middle of nowhere mind you.

The guy, buys a few peaches and asks the farmer, what do you do with this massive amount of peaches

The farmer replies 'well we sell what we can, and what we can't we can.'

Boxes of previously uncounted ballots have been found in Florida

Associated Press is now declaring the State of Florida for Al Gore

A guy walks into a grocery store and says "I want half a pound of butter"

He looks and sees shelves completely covered with boxes of salt. All over the grocery store, hundreds and hundreds of boxes of salt. So he says to the grocer, Listen, I don't want to pry, but do you sell a lot of salt? And the grocery man says, Me, if I'll sell a box of salt a month, I'm lucky. But the guy that sells me salt… Boy, can he sell salt."

A man goes to the chemist's

M: I would like 3 boxes of Xanax, please.

C: Sorry sir, you need a medical prescription for that.

M: I've got a wedding certificate.

C: That will do.

A movie theater in my town was recently robbed of over $20,000 of merchandise

The thieves apparently stole 5 popcorn/soda combos and 10 boxes of Raisinets.

You know those boxes full of dead batteries you see in supermarkets? The ones due for recycling. Did you know you can just take them?

They're free of charge.

I'm part of a local community group, and recently people have been asking for leftover moving boxes

Each time I want to say the boxes that hold still are more practical

I went out on a date recently with my ideal woman. Highly educated, funny, compassionate, beautiful. When she told me she was a gynecologist, I knew she was the one for me

...she really checked a lot of boxes.

What happens when you put a bunch of cardboard boxes in your house during a full moon?

You make it a warehouse

Why did the woman marry her gynecologist?

He checked a lot of boxes.

A foreman of a factory was making his rounds inspecting how all of the workers were doing their jobs.

Well," he said to one blond worker, "I see you are doing a very diligent job stamping all of the boxes 'THIS SIDE UP'."

"Yes," the worker replied, eager to please, "and just to be extra sure I stamped the bottom also!"

why did the grocery shopper glue 10 boxes of rice together and walk out without paying?

because that container said gluten-free.

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Source: https://jokojokes.com/boxes-jokes.html